Look on down from the bridge
Strange how my being on blogger has inspired me to write. Maybe it's the recent drama that's been funneling through my life like shit down a toilet. Or maybe it's just this groovy font, or how I get to title my posts. I don't know why I didn't embark on this defection sooner.
Had a talk with my mom on the phone today while still on campus, and as I articulated everything I did in my last post, I started to lose my shit for about 10 straight seconds. It must've been a sight for the soccer camp kids to see a "grown man" (taken as loosely as possible, considering the fact that I have the ruggedness of cotton candy) to be tearing up in front of them. But regardless, this somewhat stunned me. I haven't cried, so much as shed tears in the longest time. I need to stop repressing things. Not so much that I need to start crying more, but maybe that I need to "axe-murderer" more than I am, which is never.
That last post was originally intended to be a posting on how unreliable and indirect people blow, but it somehow denigrated into something far worse. Just thought I'd throw that out. I'm keeping it up for my own sake, so I can hopefully look back on my current state of mind and just breathe a sigh of relief right before the police knock my door down for crimes committed against humanity.
I am the only breathing abacus in my world; I can only count on myself. Unless you're wearing one of those vintage shirts with tons of shit on them, but then you'd eventually find some way to let me down.
Had a talk with my mom on the phone today while still on campus, and as I articulated everything I did in my last post, I started to lose my shit for about 10 straight seconds. It must've been a sight for the soccer camp kids to see a "grown man" (taken as loosely as possible, considering the fact that I have the ruggedness of cotton candy) to be tearing up in front of them. But regardless, this somewhat stunned me. I haven't cried, so much as shed tears in the longest time. I need to stop repressing things. Not so much that I need to start crying more, but maybe that I need to "axe-murderer" more than I am, which is never.
That last post was originally intended to be a posting on how unreliable and indirect people blow, but it somehow denigrated into something far worse. Just thought I'd throw that out. I'm keeping it up for my own sake, so I can hopefully look back on my current state of mind and just breathe a sigh of relief right before the police knock my door down for crimes committed against humanity.
I am the only breathing abacus in my world; I can only count on myself. Unless you're wearing one of those vintage shirts with tons of shit on them, but then you'd eventually find some way to let me down.
posted by 99thdream at 7:57 PM
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